The Power of a Supportive Partner

While I know this is my blog, my wife, Bonnie, wrote this and I thought it valuable enough to pass along. Enjoy.

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I got to thinking about the above title recently. I had an email from someone at HBW about how you can look at ALL the leaders at HBW with a supportive spouse and see how successful they are because they pull together. Then Barney’s last blog spoke about the emotional involvement a person needs to really become successful in our business. This being true, the importance of partner support becomes even more apparent. How can a person become and stay emotionally involved in their endeavor without a supportive partner – they simply cannot. Everyone involved in our business knows that it is through continual efforts with inherent successes and failures that we build a dynamic ongoing business. How is it possible to stay focused and positive if you don’t have the support of your partner? Your partner needs you to be there for them in times of trouble and challenge in their business lives as well as their personal lives.

As you may know, Barney loves the game of golf, and consequently we have learned all about Phil Mickelson, recent Masters champion's, life. There may be many reasons for his success, but the fantastic support of his parents seems to be the most compelling reason behind his success. His parents nurtured him and did whatever was needed to help him develop into the awesome player he became.

Have you ever thought about the power of Two over the power of One? I recently helped my daughter moved from one home to another. Of course movers moved the large items such as furniture, etc, but you know how much stuff most of us have. With another person the job was challenging but not insurmountable, whereas attempting it alone would have been almost impossible. Like minded people can accomplish almost anything; our whole civilization was founded on these principles but it’s not something you think about.

Having determined that a supportive partner/spouse is important and crucial, I think it is a good idea to take a closer look at what a supportive spouse means and what they can accomplish. There are many aspects and manners of providing support as a spouse/partner, and therefore there is no one exact right way to be. For some HBW partners, this involves becoming licensed and actually assisting in those activities in which a license is required. There are considerations concerning this, as there are costs involved with acquiring and maintaining any license in financial services. It is not essential that the partner get licensed, but is an option if they are interested in being involved to that extent.

It all depends on what your partner needs. A supportive partner must be willing to do what is needed, period. When at first thought a response might be, “why should I have to do that”, upon more introspection you realize that doing whatever is needed is the only way to operate. We all have different talents, and analyzing where your strengths lie and utilizing them can be the difference between real success and otherwise. Most likely it will become necessary to do things you may not be comfortable with, such as speaking to strangers or in front of a group of people. Many people have trouble with this, but it’s absolutely necessary if you want to have a thriving organization. I can tell you from personal experience that overcoming a weakness in your efforts to do what is needed can be exhilarating. The possibilities start to unfold and you may find you are capable of so much more than you ever realized in the past. On the other hand, some times it’s things like running errands, making coffee and cleaning up that are required which may invoke the “why should I have to do that” thought. You have to do that stuff too because that is what is required at that time, period.

My recommendation is to explore the possibilities with the amount and type of support you are involved in. As with everything in life, things change, and what might work or be needed at one time can be quite different at another time. Being involved in your partner’s/spouse’s business can add so much to your own life and add really interesting layers to your relationship.

I would like to offer this theory: HBW has become the great organization it is in part because of the great partners we have!

Becoming Emotionally Involved

When thinking about our success, we need to consider the fuel required to propel ourselves to where we want to go. What is the difference maker for those people accomplishing their goals from those others who always seem to be barely scratching out a living? Above anything else, I think the difference is how we feel about what we do. Truly successful, happy people love what they do and are enthralled by almost every aspect of their chosen endeavor. They can’t wait to start every morning, and even the frustrating challenges can be exciting to overcome.

It is about understanding the importance of what we do and being emotionally involved; as if we are doing something that we were meant to do, as if it were imbued in our very DNA. That is when we can begin to be truly successful and accomplish our goals. As with many of us in the financial services industry, when we “fall in love” with what we do, it may be something we had never even thought of or considered prior to becoming involved.

This emotional attachment gives us the energy, enthusiasm and excitement to keep moving forward, even in the face of seemingly overwhelming adversity. This is true in every aspect of our lives. You will fight very hard for something you love, where it is easy to walk away from something for which you may have little regard. Some people do not let themselves truly love or commit to anything or anybody for fear of being hurt or disappointed, which is sad. This leaves them living empty, dull lives filled with constant disappointments.

Truly committed, motivated people live lives of excitement and fulfillment which some other people cannot relate to. I remember the president of the first company I was with used to say that “The first step to greatness is total commitment”. I think I now finally realize why this is true. It is true because when we finally become totally committed to those things that are really important to us: our faith, our families, our businesses, our friends, we are finally free to be totally fulfilled in these aspects of our lives. That is where the greatness lies.

At HBW we genuinely change people’s lives in a significant and positive way that is sometimes difficult to measure. We offer among the very most competitive products in a range of financial services that make a huge difference, particularly in the middle markets where folks have often received among the worst products. When somebody grasps the significance of what they can do for people and becomes emotionally involved and totally committed to what they do, they will finally be free to become the person they dream of and live the life they have always imagined.

I challenge you to “fall in love” with what you are doing today!

Are YOU World Class?

I just finished reading a book called, “177 Mental Toughness Secrets of the World Class” by Steve Siebold. This book was referred to me by AVP, Joel Johnson, from Michigan and is an absolute game changer. The author breaks down the thinking and attitudes of people from the various classes of performance and living standards, poverty level to working class, to middle class, upper class and finally world class in a simple, concise, easy to read book. This book points out the attributes of each level and allows you to see where you are presently and how you can change to become the world class performer you may desire to be.

The book describes how the difference between middle and world class is often just a tweak of an attitude. I think of the Ron Dortch’s, Chuck Reinhold’s, Miguel Romero’s, et al, who read everything they can get their hands on, attend every meeting possible and simply find every way they can to get better. The World Class represents only about 5% of the population and attribute 41 in the book is one worth mentioning; “Champions dedicate their lives to Greatness.” “The top 1% of world class performers invests thousands of dollars every year on self-development books, DVD’s, CD’s, seminars, workshops and retreats. Most amateur performers haven’t read a book since high school and wouldn’t attend a self help seminar if you paid them. Amateurs tend to believe that education ends with high school or college graduation. The world class believes real education begins after school lets out. Dedication to getting what they want from life is the driving force behind champions. While the masses seek perpetual pleasure, the great ones focus on achievement. The irony is that professional performers tend to experience greater pleasure as a result of their achievements. Such feelings of accomplishment and achievement are an additional benefit only the great ones enjoy.”

I think about all the local training sessions we hold around the country, as well as our annual conference in Las Vegas. In almost every case, at every event, the most successful people are in attendance, eager to improve in every way. At the same time, because we care about people being successful, we always miss those people who choose not to attend, those who already “know” everything and feel that they don’t need to attend. Inevitably, these are the people who absolutely need it the most and are constantly frustrated. The book represents that 85% of people are in the middle class or below, living the life that Henry David Thoreau described as one of “quiet desperation”.

There will never be a better time than right now to make a decision to lead a life of world class, effort, commitment and achievement and become the person you are truly meant to be. Interestingly, the ones who are already on that path will buy this book, attend every seminar, etc, while the people who need it the most will simply ignore this message because they already know everything and don’t need to waste their time.

My question is which are you?

How To Excel During Challenging Economic Times

I want to share some ideas about how we can excel during these most challenging economic times. I have been reading about Winston Churchill, and I believe he is one of the most interesting characters in the history of mankind. Further, Churchill led England during the most perilous times of the 20^th century, World War II.

There is a short biography about Churchill by English writer Paul Johnson, who has the advantage of being likely the last biographer who actually knew the great man. The story of Churchill is about how a man fights on in the face of overwhelming failures, frustrations and overwhelming opposition and scorn. These are the lessons we need to learn to succeed in what is the toughest business and economic environment in the last at least 70 years.

The author identifies five Churchillian attributes that guided his eventual success: 1) He aimed high, but never cadged (begged or groveled) or demeaned himself to gain office or objectives. 2) There was no substitute for hard work – even though he was brilliant. 3) Churchill “never allowed mistakes, disasters – personal or national – accidents, illness, unpopularity and criticism to get him down. His powers of recuperation, both in physical illness and psychological responses to abject failure, were astounding.” 4) Churchill wasted extraordinarily small amounts of energy on hatred, recrimination, malice, revenge, grudges, rumor mongering or vendettas. Energy expended on hate was energy lost to productive activity, and 5) he always had something other than politics to give joy to his life.

Of course, there are so many other attributes that made Churchill a great man, but it seems to me that the above principles are definitely transferable to our lives and how we all need to overcome adversity in everything we do. As I observe our top performers, as well as successful people in most walks of life, they all seem to embody most or all of these attributes and behaviors. Another behavior that I observe among top producers and successful people is that unlike unsuccessful or very low producers who are often very focused on themselves, successful producers are most often focused on others and how they can be a benefit to the world they live in. In other words, successful people are outward looking, concerned with the needs of others while unsuccessful people are inward looking concerned with their own needs.

This is true regardless of endeavor. Families, friendships, associates, teammates, whatever, are always best with people who care about other people. Selfish, self centered people are always the most frustrating and difficult to deal with. What is also very interesting and seems contradictory, but is really not, about the differences among top producers compared to low producers is that top producers seem to look to themselves for answers and take personal responsibility for their lives, while the less successful look outside themselves for answers, take little or no personal responsibility and blame others, outside factors, anything but themselves for their lives. I can’t stress enough that successful people seem to be learning based, always trying to grow and learn as a person, while unsuccessful people seem to be knowledge based, they know everything already and are often closed to new ideas.